Measuring Time: The Unforgiving Linearity of Distance and the Unknown Narrative
- Bobby Padilla
- 14 minutes ago
- 6 min read
Time has always been a fascinating part of our lives. It intertwines closely with the idea of distance, shaping our experiences as we move through each moment. As we go about our days, measuring distance often mirrors our journey through time—marking our progress from the past to the present and onward into the future. This concept connects tightly to Einstein’s theory of relativity, echoing through every birthday celebrated and every milestone reached.
Distance, when we look deeper, is not just about physical measures. It's also an emotional and existential gauge. Every birthday, every moment we celebrate, exists at a specific point in time—a measurement that reflects the distance we have traveled between those events. However, therein lies a significant mystery: our perceptions of time can change dramatically, but the numerical distance between those moments remains constant and unyielding.
When a baby enters the world, they are assigned a timestamp that will influence their life’s trajectory. As years pass, the occasions we celebrate create a collage of memories. Statistics show that in many cultures, people celebrate maybe 75 birthdays in their lifetime. Each birthday symbolizes not just a year older but a step along a linear path stretching from birth to beyond our mortal years. The journey may remain uncertain, yet the passage of time, marked in years, is unwavering.
The relationship between distance and emotional well-being raises intriguing questions. For instance, light travels at roughly 299,792 kilometers every second. However, this measurement is merely a number; it doesn't capture the emotional weight of speed and the linearity of distance in time. For example, think of the moments you have missed: opportunities lost or relationships left unspoken. The unforgiving nature of linear time doesn’t allow for revisiting those moments; once they pass, they are gone.
A personal reflection comes to mind as I consider the last 4 ½ months since my last blog post. During this time, I have crossed through holidays like Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day and the celebration of my life making another rotation around the sun. Each occasion highlights how quickly time can slip away, turning days into months almost without notice.
This journey of reflection connects deeply with a poem written by my father-in-law, whose time is rapidly fading due to Merkel Cell Carcinoma. His experience serves as a poignant example of navigating the boundaries between life and mortality. Within his story, the distance between two points is rich with unsaid words and unexpressed feelings, showcasing the emotional depth we often overlook.
In life’s landscape, we must distinguish between simply existing and truly living. Life is not just a series of dates marked on a calendar; it is a tapestry woven from our experiences, interactions, and emotions. Those who celebrate milestones often recall not just the age they’ve reached, but also the relationships formed, with studies showing that strong social ties can increase longevity of your life.
But, what of those moments left behind that weren’t celebrated? Moments that passed, lost to the minutia of everyday living. The five-dollar bill found in the pocket in a pair of pants while doing the laundry on a Sunday morning. Or the distance between that moment and the time you had a strange dinner you had at a restaurant with friends you only see from time to time. The distance between those moments goes uncharted. While the moments of having your heart broken by a family member to the time you reconcile that heartache are unforgettable.
My wife had not spoken to her father in 17 years. That's 1/3 of her life. You see, her father divorced her mother when she was very young. He then went off and created a new life with a new wife and three children. This was mark " A" on my wife's emotional map. The distance from that point to the point "B", the event in which they stop speaking to each other because of a falling out they had due to the poor choice he made by treating his first-born child as a second-class human being. The distance from point "B" to point was mapped at 17 years. That distance was not only felt by my wife, but by my children and myself as well. They were the ones who missed out on having a grandfather, because of the distance of those two points.
Between those two points, there were many special moments missed. There were birthdays, holidays, accomplishments, milestones, graduations, anniversaries, and passings.
Then, at point "B" a new beginning, a reconnection. About three years ago, her dad extended an olive branch to my wife (his first-born child). They began healing their relationship. And in turn, my boys suddenly had a grandfather. In case you’re wondering, my father past 15 years ago, that coupled with the fact that my father had never been part of my life anyway, let alone my children's.
Now we approach point "C". and as mentioned above, time is an arrow that always speeds forward. While there is no exact date for point "C", we know that the relationship between my wife and her father will be marked by wife's dad succumbing to Mercal Cell.
While we can quantify time through years, we should also appreciate the experiences that fill each moment. Each birthday stands apart, a further reminder of the precious time we have from our first breath to our final farewell. As my father-in-law writes his poem, he captures emotions far beyond the cold measurements of time—a bridge uniting past joys with future farewells, stitched together with love and legacy. Questioning the things that mattered most that defined his existence.
This process carries tremendous weight. What he writes can be a lasting reminder of a life well-lived coupled with the regrets he had, much like the years accumulated along a timeline. In this context of time and its distance, solace can arise. Moreover, we may find ourselves cherishing the shared narratives connecting our lives with his.
As I explore the emotional layers of this process, my father-in-law’s words take on greater significance. Each line crafted reminds us of the brief time we share on this earth, and marking of points that define the core of our human existence. The urgency to express love becomes palpable as we realize that our moments are limited.
Viewing our moments through both emotional depth and the lens of physical distance can deepen our understanding. The linearity of time appears less daunting when we reconsider our relationship with it. We are not simply travelers on a bleak path; we are navigating emotional landscapes filled with rich connections. Each moment we live carries more weight because it is finite and will not repeat.
The concept of measuring time with respect to distance gives us a new perspective. While the linear nature of time may suggest mere ticking seconds, it is far more meaningful. It invites us to engage fully with the people we love, creating narratives filled with warmth and connection.
As I work on a series of art to illustrate my father-in-law's poem, I remind myself of the distances that bind us. Though we may find ourselves constrained by time's unwavering nature, the moments we create within that framework of life remain vibrantly rich and significant. And with all that moves us forward, we define our own unique narratives, and that is the point.
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